From the outside, my life looked normal. I was married, working, and raising two children.

But behind closed doors, things were falling apart.

Years of gambling had left me drowning in debt. I had borrowed money, hidden bills, and lied to the people I loved most. Keeping up the pretence became exhausting.

Eventually, everything came out.

I watched the shock and hurt on my wife's face as she discovered the truth. I felt overwhelming shame. I couldn't see a way forward. I believed I had ruined my family's future and broken their trust forever.

For days, I barely slept. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that they would be happier without me.

One morning, I got in my car and drove the two hours to Beachy Head.

I remember sitting alone for a long time, staring out to sea. I felt numb. I couldn’t think of any way forward.

Then one of the chaplains approached me.

He didn't judge me or try to fix everything. He listened.

For the first time, I admitted how much shame I was carrying. I don’t know how he managed it because I really didn’t want to tell him at first. I spoke about the debt, the lies and all my guilt. I told him I felt like a burden to everyone around me - that I was ruining their lives as well as mine.

What stayed with me was that he seemed to believe things could get better, even when I couldn't see how. He saw something worth holding on for when I'd almost given up on myself.

Before I left, he put me in touch with a charity that supports people struggling with gambling addiction. It was the first step towards getting the help I needed.

Nothing in my situation changed overnight. The debts were still there. The difficult conversations still lay ahead.

But I left with a small sense of hope, and the feeling that things could get better.

The months afterwards were not easy. Rebuilding trust took time. Facing my addiction took courage - even calling it an addiction took a while. There were setbacks along the way.

But there was also support, honesty and a chance to start again.

Today, my life isn't perfect, but it is worth living.

My marriage survived. My children still have their dad. The debts are being dealt with, and I no longer carry it all on my own anymore.

Looking back, I realise that chaplain saw a future for me when I couldn't see it myself. I thought I was a failure, but he saw the good in me.

I’M STARTING TO SEE IT MYSELF NOW